Below you will find my bona fides. Everything here is factual; I merely present it somewhat humorously to keep from crying.
December, 2003. Associate of Arts (A.A.) in Humanities, Niagara County Community College. Useless but inexpensive.
May, 2007. Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) in Philosophy and Psychology, Alfred University. Minors in religion and fine arts. Useless and very expensive. Omicron Delta Kappa leadership honor society, Phi Alpha Theta history honor society. Who's Who Among American College Students (didn't buy a copy).
May, 2015. Withdrew from the Master of Arts (M.A.) in Church History program at Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School in order to "spend more time with my family." Continues to sullenly play with thesis. (Updated: Back in the program and giving it another go!)
1989 to present. National Geographic Society, member. They think I only joined in 2002, but I have the back issues to prove it. My grandma signed me up.
2015 to present. President, Corning Meals on Wheels, Inc., Corning, NY. Board member since 2014.
2017 to present. Volunteer, Southern Tier AIDS Program, Bingamton, NY. They never call me, but I have the training, the paperwork, and the naloxone kit.
November, 2011. Ordained priest (Old Catholic). Speciality in hauntings, residual, active, and prospective.
January, 2012. Elected Abbot, the Companions of St. Alfred the Great, King and Confessor, in Athelney.
August, 2014. Consecrated titular bishop (Old Catholic) of El Toro (California). Doctor of Divinity (D.D.) by courtesy (it's a real thing). Briefly bishop coadjutor of the uniformed services diocese (later "suffragan" in the letter dimissory). No bitter feelings there.
October, 2016 to February, 2018. Director of Christian Education, Grace Church (Episcopal), Elmira, NY. Biblical literacy and Anglican formation. Also choir (tenor).
May, 2001 to present. Auxiliarist, U.S. Coast Guard. Positions at all levels of organization. Sustained Service Award (twice), Presidential Unit Citation with hurricane device, Coast Guard Unit Citation with operations device (3x), Member Service Award (3x), Flotilla Meritorious Achievement Award, and Annual Service Performance Award with operations device.
March, 2005. Ran for village board in Alfred, NY on Democratic ticket. Personally endorsed by former Governor Howard Dean. Lost spectacularly. Later thanked by Ralph Nader for trying anyway.
Copyright Ian Adkins, 1996-Present
All Rights Reserved.